stop the world

28 August 2011 @ 06:36 pm

Can't you let me
Have my bad days
Can't you let me
Frown now and then
After all I'm still human

I think the problem is
We're caught between two extremes
Either the person is an emotional wreck
Or the person never has a bad day
Or so we assume

What happened to being normal?
What happened to feeling emotions?
What happened to being human?

To be human
To live and laugh
But be able to cry and be upset about things too
It's only natural

So I think it's time to accept
That people can't be happy all the time
And when they're upset
They just need a little space to breathe
They just need time to feel hurt
Without being judged.

But that doesn't mean they're grumpy
Nor does it make them any less happy a person
It' just makes them

real.

-both sides

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28 August 2011 @ 05:09 pm

Out of Cue

And I get that you want the stage
You want to know that you're good
You need confirmation
Everybody wants that
Sometimes
I just wish you'd be honest about it.
Because girl, I can't help you if you don't speak up

"But you don't get how hard it is"
Another small voice in my head says
Because sometimes
I wish I was born a mute
And sometimes
I wish I was scared of the stage
Because I'm beginning to think
That fear of the stage is just a cover
I'm really Just scared of myself

It was a chance
She said
And I agreed.
A good chance.
A brilliant opportunity

But I don't know if I can accept that
I don't know if I'm willing to try
"You've got nothing to lose" they say
And while that's true
I don't want things to start happening too quickly

Before I have a chance to breathe
Maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing
But that's just how things are
In my silly little brain.

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27 August 2011 @ 11:35 am

(no subject)

Remind me again
Why I'm doing what I'm doing?

I'm spending way too much time
Waiting for something
That isn't going to happen

And even if it happens
I can't say it'll stop me from waiting any further
I can't say
That it will keep me from
Hanging on tighter
My fingers clasped
My knuckles white.

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23 August 2011 @ 09:27 am

High lows

You said I'm too young
I can't know how it feels
But I do
And in some ways I wish you were right.

This feeling is crazy
Or rather
This feeling is driving me crazy

I guess sometimes when you bury the truth for so long
It gets doubly hard to tell the truth
Without digging up along with it
Everything you've been running away from
Holding your heart so tight
In clenched fists
It's almost like
You've squeezed every magical drop out.

What if these are just fragments of my past
And something I haven't seriously considered for the present?
What if I'm diving headfirst
Into something I used to dream about
But is actually an ocean that has long gone dry?

The thing that keeps me from letting go of everything
And stopping my tracks
Is that
I actually do feel happy
My heart feels lighter
And my chest
Isn't constantly threatening to explode any minute now.
Maybe it's a desperation
And maybe I'm just clinging onto
Whatever hope I have
But can you honestly blame me
For just wanting a little bit more
After always being the one
To give it all away?

But I've reached a point
Where all the lines are blury
And though it hurts to say so
After so many years
Of useless dreaming
Though it could come true
I'm gonna just have to let it go.

But in just a little blink of the eye
I'm silly little me again
Sitting here
With my silly little thoughts
That I know will never come true
Makes me seem crazy
And a little insane
But I'd cut up my heart
Before
I ever fall for you again.

-N.L

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10 June 2011 @ 11:15 pm

tripledeck

We really needa stop pretending that we're okay
When we so obviously aren't.

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24 May 2011 @ 09:13 pm

chance the day

I can't explain it
Not to anyone.
It really is a valid reason, or so it seems.
It left a wicked scar, carved into my bones, or so it feels.
It burned a hole right through the history of lies, leaving its mark a champion.
It tied together a whole lot of doubts, leaving just one question-how?
It brought the laughter I'd lost for a long time.
It was the right thing.

And if you asked me,
I'd do it all over again.

So why am I feeling so down about it?

"Fireman, or guy with green eyes?"
"Is the fireman's eyes green?"
"uh... they're blue"
"hm...guy with green eyes"
"What if he's some illegal drug dealer?"
"THE FIREMAN"

so there. It's settled.

-tell me I'm not wrong.tell me I'm doing the right thing.

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08 May 2011 @ 06:36 pm

Never

I wonder...

When do you start to realize his eyes sparkle, a more intense grey that anyone else's
When do you start to be aware of that unwanted bulge in the middle
When do you start to wonder whether if you're good enough
When do you start to figure out that "forever" is not infinity
When do you start to notice that you stand out, when all you want to do is fit in

When is it that you feel like this world holds no place for you
Not realizing
That it's just that the world isn't ready for someone as special as you?

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18 April 2011 @ 09:39 pm

Ignorance

You left mascara tears
And amplified fears
The lonely years
Bringing saggy eyes
And I'm sleep deprived
You painted me ugly
I'm only ugly.
-glor

Sometimes I feel nothing is left to keep me grounded.
Like I'm so light and empty that it won't take much for me to get blown away
But then
I'll get to defy gravity
And perhaps it won't be that bad a thing after all.
But it's probably just some weird phase.

Maybe that's why I loved Wanderer
Maybe it's because we're both about the same.

But then again,
I could be just mistaken.

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29 March 2011 @ 10:05 pm

Immaculate

The problem is not that you have everything.
The problem is your not knowing how much you actually have.

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11 March 2011 @ 11:24 pm

Undermined

You want way too much.

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